The time for leaving is fast approaching. I’m still so much of a conflagration of thoughts, senses of melancholy and anticipation coursing through. Really, though, there are no thoughts i have on leaving that (brilliant, as ever) Ze Frank has not already espoused in succinct video form:
There is one thing i feel a disconnect to in his video, though. The part where leaving is the going, without the coming back. Of course we often leave knowing we can never come back – back to the time we left, the person we were upon departure. It’s part of the transience of human existence, i think. When i leave Chapel Hill, again, this week, i’ll be leaving a part of who i am behind. It’s inevitable. But i also feel that it’s ever a shedding of another layer of skin, to reveal a new and vulnerable and malleable layer underneath. A layer that needs strengthening.
However. I do come back. Maybe it’s the time of my life that i’m in – being twenty, in college, still dependent on my parents and yet living apart like a quasi-adult. There’s no permanence to my geography, so the leaving is always with an eventual bent towards coming back. It’s perhaps less frightening this way, but it certainly isn’t comfortable, either.
I learn by going where I have to go. (theodore roëthke)
current jam: ‘skinny love’ cover by meghan tonjes
best thing: burritos.